dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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