Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
