does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
