quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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