So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
