Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
