btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
MIDGETS
????
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
