Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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