Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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