Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
