The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
