I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize