It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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