i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
