yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
