hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
