So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
