i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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