There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
