are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
