I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
