went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
