But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize