Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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