I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
