just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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