i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My feet surprised me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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