id be glad to
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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