don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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