But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
