I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
