I heard we made out
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
