Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We were destined to go to rehab together
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
