if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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