Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Shame is for Republicans.
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