in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
