I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
