You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
