I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
