There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
