Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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