Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
