How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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