Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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