dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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