Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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