Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
