I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
