how hairy? two words: wookie tits
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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