Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
