I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
