Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
