Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Less talking, more tequila
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
