Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
