My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
