I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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