Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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