Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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