I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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