please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we should paint friendship bongs
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
