i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm at about main and main street
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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