He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think people are normalizing furries
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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