I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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