so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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