its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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