with your own penis?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
